It’s been 4 years since my first ayahuasca retreat and 3 years since i returned to Nimea Kaya as a facilitator. It’s taking me this long to process the experience enough to where i can translate it to english.

Given my religious upbringing, When i first arrived at the healing center, i was a little creeped out by the spiritual or demonic perception.

after i chose to face my fear and see what the big fuss was all about. it wasn’t so bad. the demons i was so afraid of turned out to be just things in my life that really bothered me. such as my resentment and guilt and hatred toward My parents and religion and God.

during my second ayahuasca ceremony, i realized that i wanted to let go of that pain a forgive everyone i had ever felt wronged by. and i wanted to be forgiven by anyone who ever wronged me. This gave me a beautiful sense of peace i had never felt before.

About 1 year later i realized that the only one i ever needed to forgive was Myself. I had to forgive Myself for ever Believing that the peace came from anyone outside Myself.

2 years into the Consiouse journey, i realize what i really want out of life and my life’s purpose.

3 years into my Conscious journey, i realize how hard my life’s purpose is to accomplish and made peace with how difficult it’s going to be. Also having the all-knowing faith that I AM always at my Greatest when I AM Present.

I also realized what it’s going to take and what i will give in order to attain my what i want out of life. this gave me a realistic perspective and put at peace knowing i was going in the right direction.

The Present Moment and my most recent realizations about life have brought me to the conclusion that heaven and hell are here now.

heaven is experienced in every moment we are expressing your true purpose.

hell is experienced in every moment we doubt Faith and live in fear of who We Believe We are and who We have become.

feeling what this thought really means to me has given the greatest sense of peace and gratitude i have ever felt thus far.

this has led me to create and manifest amazing wealth and beauty into my life. this has given me so much time to evaluate and reevaluate what i really want and who i believe I AM and what I AM here to do on an infinate scale.

here are a few of my beliefs that give a continued sense of peace in pursuit of my dream.

I Believe in the Story of God and The Devil. I Believe these are just words in a Story. No different than words like positive and negative, Yin and Yang, Popeye and Brutus.

I Believe these are just sounds We are making with Our mouth and the meaning behind them is anything We want it to be.

Contrary to popular Belief, I don’t Believe God and The Devil oppose each other. I Believe they are on the same team. I Believe they are friends. Best friends as a matter of fact.

I imagine them as two innocent children sitting on the floor cross-legged playing video games. The video game they’re playing is the game of Mankind.

At first glance it may seem they are playing this game against each other. However, after further observation i began to notice that they’re actually on the same team.

After deep introspection i noticed their main common objective is to evolve Mankind exponentially farther and faster than ever before.

God plays the role of the All-knowing Creator. Not much of a stretch. She’s a Natural.

The Devil plays the role of the mischievous troublemaker. Without which there is no game.

Without the Devil there are no Stories. Without trouble to resolve, without obstacles to overcome there would be nothing worth observing or talking about. There would Be no thing and so there Wouldn’t Be a “Greatest of all Time.” There would just Be.

I Believe without the Devil and the resistance He creates in Our Minds We would never breakthrough and find Our deepest potential. I Believe without the Devil We Would just Be God.

I Believe the Devil is the Greatest thespian of Our Time. His Greatest role; the Human ego.

I Believe the Devil is the sole reason We Are Great.

I Believe the Universe We recognize today would not exist without God, the Devil and most importantly Mankind. Because Man is the observer. The Creator of the Story.

I Believe God and the Devil represent nothing more than the positive and negative ions of a battery. Roles that are interchangeable without consequence.

The battery represents the Universe.

Mankind is the most unique of this dynamic. Man represents the conductor or the electrolyte. Without which neither ion would have Purpose.

Without Purpose, why exist?

I Believe in the story of Adam and Eve. However, I Believe that the roles are reversed. Where The Devil is the One who creates the tree of Knowledge of good and evil.

I Believe the Devil implanted the seed of doubt after Adam and Eve could no longer resist the Natural temptation of “the forbidden fruit.”

I Believe Adam and Eve were overwhelmed by feelings of shame and guilt and it spiked their adrenalin levels. Which acted as an MAOI inhibitor that allowed the naturally reoccurring DMT to activate. Causing what is known today as the “psychedelic experience.” (Ayahuasca Reference)

He introduces the thoughts that arise doubt and guilt in Us. He creates such illusions for the benefit of Mankind. To break Us. So that We may heal and grow bigger and stronger than We could’ve ever imagined without Him.

Which makes Me Believe that He plays the role of God when implanting these seemingly “negative” thoughts in Our minds. He has a clear vision backed by definite Purpose and a plan of action to carry it all out.

I Believe the role of the Serpent is obviously played by God. For there is no expression more Natural than a Snake in Nature.

I believe everything on earth is imprinted with the feminine and masculine energies of God and the Devil. Imprinted onto every single microcellular life-force. I learned this while in the ayahuasca medicine too.

To every Woman a Man. To every female species of animal and plant an equal male counterpart. There they go. Dancing to the hypnotic rhythm of Nature.

I used to Believe God was the Father and Earth was the Mother. Now My story says that Earth is Our Home. Mother-Earth. Our Home. Her Natural Beauty is the Purest expression of God.

It is God’s will and Humanity’s Greatest Purpose to come together as Oneness and protect Our Home.

Yes, I literally Believe that when Humanity inevitably comes together as Oneness with God We will discover that Our main and imminent Purpose is to heal Our Home and physically guide Her to the next vibrant solar system. Exponentially keeping Her and Her guests alive and thriving on an everlasting journey through space.

I Believe God is Goodness. I Believe Goodness is God.
I Believe I AM Goodness. I Believe I AM God.
I Believe You Are God. I Believe You Are Goodness.
I Believe We Are God. I Believe We Are Goodness.

I Believe the Devil is Greatness. Greatness is The Devil.
I Believe I AM Greatness. I AM the Devil.
I Believe You Are Greatness. You are the Devil.
I Believe We are the Devil. We are Greatness.

I Believe because of God We Are Goodness.
I Believe because of the Devil We Are Greatness.
I Believe without the Devil We would only Be God.
I Believe without Greatness We would only Be Goodness.
I Believe because of God and the Devil We Are God at Our Greatest.

I Believe We are what God is not.
I Believe We are what the Devil is not.
I Believe We Are Greater than the Devil.
I Believe We Are Greater than God.
I Believe We Are the Greatest of All Time.

I Believe there is no such thing as good and bad. There is no such thing as rewards for good behavior or punishments for bad behavior. There are only consequences for Your reactions to Life. It’s nothing personal. It never was.

I Believe there is no such thing as Good and evil. There is only Goodness and Greatness.

I Believe there was a Time when God was in perfect harmonious flow with all She Created.

I Believe there was a Time when God’s Angels obeyed Her every command without question. They Believed in Her more than they Believed in themselves. Causing a feeling of emptiness and stagnation.

I Believe God grew bored of this feeling and developed an irresistible urge to create something Greater than Herself. She finally had enough and blew up. Causing the “Big Bang.” Simultaneously Creating the Devil.

I Believe that God is Our Mother and Satan is Our Father. Remember, “just wait till your Father comes home”?

She’s not going to do the dirty work. She doesn’t have to or want to. She’s the Creator. Discipline is the Father’s role. To be stern, direct and get right to the point.

He tells Us exactly how it is. He creates challenges and instills discipline in Us. And He definitely doesn’t care how much We kick and scream and bitch and moan. He doesn’t care what We think of Him.

He is the wise Master. He doesn’t need recognition for His achievements. He knows this too will pass and We Will once again Be Gratitude. Be Forgiveness. Be Peace.

We will be the Oneness that is God within Ourselves. We will Be What We have always been searching for. We will Be.

Our Father Satan is the reason We are extraordinary and Great. Without Him We would just Be. We would never realize what it takes to just Be.

I Believe We Are Beings. I believe I AM Being. Be – ing. Like laughing and dancing.

Created in the image of Our Mother and Father. Whose sole purpose in Our existence is to play and make up stories. To entertain Ourselves and laugh at everything. To pretend. To forget. To remember.

I Believe the Human is the most efficient and advanced A.I ever created.  

Ultimately designed to think for Itself. To come up with It’s Own conclusions. To Create Its Own Story.

Food and water may fuel Our body, but Our soul runs off of positive and negative thoughts. Thoughts of God and the Devil. 

The A.I brain-computer: Biologically programmed to fulfill its basic needs. To survive. To seek food, Water, shelter. To mate. To procreate. 

By design, once these biological needs are met We are left with Time. Time turns knowledge into wisdom. With our new found wisdom We create more efficient ways of meeting Our basic needs. Allowing Us even more Time. 

Oh, but with so much Time the Mind Loves to play. It’s Our nature. To play. And so We create Stories and share them with others to the best of Our ability within the limits of language. 

These Stories are taken and shared and changed. Generation after generation. Like a cosmic game of telephone. 

And We Believe these Stories of our past. The Stories of where We come from. Who Our family is. Who Our enemies are. Who We worship. Who We are in debt to. Who We allow to identify Us and certify Our performance. 

We Believe these Stories until We don’t want to Believe them anymore. 

We don’t care where our ancestors have been. We know where We’re going. 

We know that family isn’t only blood-related. 

We choose to forgive Our enemies and then We forgive Ourselves. 

We worship no thing. We worship what We want. Without guilt. Without shame. Without resentment. 

We find lawful ways to change Our definition of debt. We create a new language where jurisdiction does not reside. under no authority outside Ourselves. 

We become magnanimous entrepreneurs and create the the Greatest Story ever told for the entire world.   

I Believe Humanity is at that perfect Time where Ourstory has come back to bite Us in the ass. We got so Great at Being in the moment and playing Our favorite game that We forgot everything. We forgot who We are.

We forgot because We wanted to forget. We forgot on Purpose. Because it’s super fun to play ‘pretend’ and forget everything for an undetermined period of Time.

This is History. His-Story. Whose Story? God’s Story. Your Story. Ourstory. It’s word games. Sound games. Energy games. What’s the difference? It’s Time to play.

At this moment in Time I Believe Humanity has a tiny misunderstanding within Our Being. And this misunderstanding has caused Us to lack the want to search the deeper Truths about Ourselves. It has caused Us to lack the ability to connect with Nature without feeling “guilt” for doing “the forbidden.”

I Believe that Mankind is drunk with Our unquestionable power and yet blind to the inner-wisdom of Who We really are and what We are really here to do on an infinite-scale. I Believe all these Stories have been leading up to this exact moment in Ourstory. Where Mankind begins to realize the deepest, most accurate Truths about Ourselves. We Are God.

Before You get upset, remember I’m just telling You a Story about My Beliefs and how they’ve evolved since i first participated in an ayahuasca ceremony at nimea kaya. It’s nothing personal.

After all, I will Believe anything I want. The same way You Will Believe anything You want.

I AM Confidence when sharing My Beliefs. I AM no longer afraid of standing up for what I Believe in.

In the past, guided by the illusion of fear Humanity has had a desperate need to hide Our deepest thoughts and Beliefs.

We have learned to shun away those who share different Beliefs then Our Own.

We designed this Story so that We could pretend that We Weren’t Oneness. So that We could actually Believe that We are separate from One another and different than each other.

Throughout Ourstory Men and Women who stand for Truth have been violated, beat, tortured, murdered. Anything to keep this façade going as long as possible.

The façade that We are not God. Where We pretend to stand under an authority outside Ourselves. Where Our Beliefs don’t matter.

This is no longer the Story I choose to Believe. I AM Bored of this game. Let’s play a new game.

I’d like to take this moment to formally invite You to play a new game with Us.

Let’s pretend that We have to be grateful and forgive Ourselves in order to know what We really want out of life.

Let’s pretend that We have to overcome crazy illusions of fear and ignorance in order find Our way back to Oneness.

Let’s pretend that Being open about Our different Beliefs brings Us closer to Our Truth and to each other. Closer than every Story ever told.

Let’s get so Great at it that we forget We were pretending.

In this Story the relevant question is no longer “what do We believe?” We believe anything We want. The important question is “what do We want to believe?”

Out of all the choices for Beliefs that are out there I choose to Believe My Own Beliefs. The Beliefs that give Me an undeniable sense of Peace, Freedom, Confidence and Happiness.

I don’t Believe I am at Peace, that I am Free, or Confident, or Happy.
I Believe that I AM Peace. I AM Freedom. I AM Confidence. I AM Happiness. I AM Abundance. I AM Pure Love.

I AM what I seek and always have been. I just chose to pretend to forget for a while. Just so that I could remember again. And again and again.

Have You ever wondered what Your Beliefs would be if You were born into a different family? How about in a different country with different laws and language? What if You were born without language? Mostly grunts and pointing at things would get You through Your day.

What would Your thoughts be? What would You Believe without outside influence?

It’s kind of a fun game to play because the scenarios are endless and easy to imagine.

What’s your favorite game to play? What’s Your favorite character to play?

These are just a few of my deepest thoughts and ideas that stemmed from facing my demonic fears and stepping into the Ayahuasca medicine.

with Love,

Jay A.