Lets start with some things around the retreat.

In Iquitos I met the other participantes and Oscar who got us on tuk-tuks to the port, and then a beautiful boat ride on the Amazon river until arriving to the center.

I had been nervous for the past weeks prior to the retreat, but I felt somehow very calm when I entered the property and met the staff.

The center is rustic, simple and beautiful. In the middle of intense rainforrest and a small river (where you can swim) is just on the property.

I came here for healing and to be in nature, and I felt immediately that this was the right place once I arrived. The positive vibes, the wild nature and the natural sounds was more intense than I could have imagined.

We all had cosy private rooms during the week. Comfortable bed and a little desk, and it had both mosquito fence around and mosquito net over the bed, and a private bathroom with shower.
Two mornings I woke up and watched wild monkeys littleraly 3 meters over my bed.

At arrival we had a meeting with the staff and got information about the week, and a short introduction of the participants which was very nice.

At night we all got a one on one session with the shamans and this meant a lot to me. I could share with them some very personal stuff, but it was also very nice to get to know them before the ceremony.

Now to the ceremonies.

Ceremony 1.

The very first ceremony we got an introductory dose (small dose), and we had been told that eventually we wouldn’t feel a whole lot. This was the case for me, even though a couple had quite some intense experiences already that night.

I actually think I didn’t feel anything at all and I fall asleep.

Ceremony 2.

I felt happy that the dose was going to be increased and I definitely had some expectations for the second night.

To my disappointment, I again didn’t feel anything more than frustration over not having an effect.

Rest day.

On Wednesday we had a day of rest, with a very interesting walk in the forest learning about the medicinal plants.

But more important we had a group sharing with one of the shamans and that was a key moment to me.
Most of the others in the group have had some things going in and it was intresting to hear their experiences.
After spending the night before frustrated, and also the morning, I was eased after talking to the shaman about the process, and it’s apparently quite common to sit 2 ceremonies with no experience.

That evening I definitely started to feel a lot inside my mind, many of the doubts and fears I came to heal started to bubble up in my mind.

On Thursday we went out on the Amazon river, and went to a nice little project where they rescue Monkeys.

Ceremony 3 – The most challenging night of my life.

This time I really tried to go in with no expectations and an empty mind.

After about 20-30 minutes I got a warm sensation in my body.
I knew something was about to happen.
My eyes were closed, but I could see lots of beautiful colours and patterns that I had never seen before, and then it all stopped.

Some kind of entity, or spirit presented itself, and told me that I was going to see why I was here.

I was shown my childhood and all the traumas, extremely painful at times, but also very healing. I was able to forgive so much, and it was like I was pure light and love.
Then it moved on to my teenager years and my adulthood.
This was not beautiful at first.
I could see so many mistakes, and so many times I fucked up, and I started to feel very sick.

I started to purge in the bucket, and felt very ill. At one point I needed to go to the bathroom but I didn’t have the straight to walk there, so I called over Nataila (one of the facilitators) to help me get there.

In the bathroom I purged both ways literally at the same time (luckily there are buckets in there too).

During the purge in the bathroom, I thought this was my last night for some moments, the purge just kept coming.

On the other hand, even though I felt I was going through the most difficult times in my life, I felt that what was coming out had to get outside me once and for all.

My fears, my insecurities, my darkness and my traumas.

After some time it calmed down, maybe 20 minutes, but it felt that I had been stuck in there forever.

When I left the bathroom Natalia was still outside waiting for me, but I could now walk back without assistance. In fact, it felt like I could fly back, light as a butterfly.

I can’t remember when, if ever, I have felt so pure and light.

Once back in the temple and on my mattress, I was experiencing so much love and forgiveness.

Everything was meant to be this way, the massage was that everything is just perfect as it is.

I felt an immense love for myself, and even for the mistakes I did, as I could see them as lessons for me to become who Im supposed to be.

I could vision my future with positivity and excitement and felt so grateful for the medicine, the shamans, and everyone else at La Luna who made this possible.

In fact I felt the energy of the shamans throughout the whole experience, even at the worst moments, like they were there protecting me.
I couldn’t describe the experience even with a million of words, but Im forever grateful for this experience, as I believe this was both the most important and most difficult night in my life.

Friday and Ceremony 4.

I woke up on Friday as reborn. Little exhausted, but I felt so light in my mind and my body. I spent most of the day alone, journaling and processing last nights experience, and I was not sure if I needed another ceremony at this time.

After a consultation with the shaman, I was advised to take a small dose to close the week, and to receive the protection and the blessings from the shamans.

The last ceremony was very nice, a lot lighter experience than the night before, and I was able to enjoy myself for the first time in a very very long time.

Since returning home, I feel lighter, more peaceful, and have a newfound sense of self-love. It has changed me so much for the better, and I feel that I can enjoy life with so much more clarity. It would be no understatement to say this was the best week of my life so far.

My gratitude to all of the beautiful souls at La Luna who made me feel safe during this amazing week. Benigno, Jack, Guido, Oscar, Lydia, Natalia, Enrique, Caren, Walter and everyone else. You guys gave me my life back, and these experiences have transformed my life in ways I never thought possible, and I am forever grateful for the important and beautiful work you guys do down there!

With love,

-Kim